I Throw Like a Girl

Opera Trip – the Prequel

Posted by Carol on December 26, 2007

You have already heard about my very educational and culture filled trip to the opera.  What I did not tell you was that the morning of the opera, I had my annual appointment with my GYN and she came very close to losing me as a patient.

I have some very strict rules about the person who is my Gyn. 

Rule #1 –  They must be female. 

The only man who gets to see me naked is my husband. Believe me, its not that much of a privilege. You may point out that is pretty uptight of me to have a “female only” rule, and I would agree.  You may say that male Gyn’s are professionals, that they are licensed physicians.  Well, all I have to say is that my name is not on their license.  When they can produce a license with my name on it, I will reconsider.

Rule #2 – I cannot socialize with my Gyn outside of her doctor’s office. 

I did actually stop going to one doctor because of this rule.  I was speaking at a series of women’s events held at our church over a course of six Sunday evenings.  The Monday morning after the last session at church, I had my annual exam.  There I was, sitting on the edge of the exam table wearing that most flattering paper gown and the doctor walked in. 

The first words out of her mouth were, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”. 

Me – “Well, I have been here before, but it has been a year.”

Her – “No, definitely somewhere else, and not too long ago.”

Me – “Sorry, I can’t think of where it might have been.”

Her – “Oh, I know!  You spoke to the women’s group at my church last night, didn’t you?”

That is the only time I have ever felt embarrassed about serving the Lord.

Wouldn’t you know I started running into her every Sunday morning after that?  Sorry, but praising the Lord and Gyn exams just don’t mix as far as I’m concerned.  I’d much rather have her as a friend at church than a doctor.

I am only this way about my Gyn.  My other docs can be male or female. I can socialize just fine with any other kind of medical professional.  Blame it on my Baptist upbringing. I blame a lot of stuff on that.

None of my doctors have known about THE RULES lest they think I am crazy strange and decide to refer me to another kind of doctor.

What does all this have to do with the opera? Let me tell you.

Once again, there I am sitting on the end of the exam table the morning of the molto grande opera trip (after which I am now semi-fluent in Italian, BTW).  Only this time I am wearing a lovely pink cotton exam gown rather than paper when Dr. D walks in.

As she is looking over my chart, Dr. D says, “So, what are you doing the rest of today?”

Me – “Oh, I am going with my daughter’s Italian class on a field trip.”

Dr. D – “To the opera?!”

Me – “Yes! How did you know?”

Dr. D – “My daughter takes Italian at ______ High School! She’s a junior. Her name is C and what a time we had finding just the right outfit for this trip!  I wish I could go as a chaperone, but my other daughter has a band concert tonight that I can’t miss. Maybe I’ll go next year. If you go again next year maybe we can do some shopping in the City before the opera.  That would be so much fun.  Wouldn’t our daughters just die if they knew we were having this conversation about them?!”

There are over 1200 students at my daughter’s high school.  There are over 100 Gyn’s within a 50 mile radius of my house.  What are the odds of this conversation happening?  I think I should go play the lottery- oh, wait, I forgot about that Baptist upbringing for a second. How silly of me.

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2 Responses to “Opera Trip – the Prequel”

  1. Linda C said

    This is too funny! And so well written. I’m going to love coming here!

  2. Missy said

    I totally get you. In both ways.

    I have a friend who is a urologist. She is a she. Her rule is, no patients from church. Because it would be a little too weird: “Have you met my husband?” “Oh…yes…I…have…Hi…there…”

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