I Throw Like a Girl

Stomping On the Devil on My Shoulder

Posted by Carol on July 10, 2008

Even though I’ve been trying to keep my posts on the lighter side lately, our family is still going through a storm.  God is slowly leading us step by step through it, but we still have a long way to go before we see light at the end of the tunnel. 

I don’t know if I will ever be able to write about it here on my blog for privacy reasons, but I do believe that God would have me share what He is teaching me through it all.

A few years ago, a woman who was speaking at our church’s annual women’s retreat said, “God doesn’t give us children for us to make them like Christ. He gives us children to make us more like Christ”.  I don’t know if she was exactly theologically correct, but in principle she is right.  Everything God allows in our life (including children) is for the purpose of making us more like Christ.

I must admit that lately I have been really letting things get me down and I have not looked much like the conqueror of Romans 8:37, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us”.

I was in constant turmoil within myself.  It was as if I had a little cartoon angel and devil sitting on each shoulder.  The angel would remind me to trust God.  The devil would have me take my eyes off Jesus and see the storm raging around me.  The angel on one shoulder would tell me that God is in control; the devil on the other would tell me that everything is falling apart and I should just give up.

I once wrote a post called Don’t Be Afraid, Just Believe based on the story of Jesus raising Jairus’ daughter from the dead found in Mark 5:36.  I even did one of my evalution talks at She Speaks about that story.

Well, it has come time for me to put my money where my mouth is.  Do I believe God? Can I trust Him with my most treasured and beloved people in my life, my children?  Have I made idols out of my children in my effort to be a good mom?

These are all questions I have been asking myself and the easy, “good Bible study girl” (as Lysa TerKeurst would put it) answer to the first two questions is “yes”.  But I think God wants me to dig deeper and be 100% honest with myself and with Him.  I think the honest answer to the third question is also “yes”. 

Sadly.

Throughout all this, I have felt God calling me to go deeper with Him in the Word and to see what He is trying to teach me in this storm.  I certainly can’t control the situation, but He can, and I need to get to know Him better.  Even though I have been a Christian since I was 9 years old, I have a long way to go until I look like Jesus.

All that to say, I have decided to take BooMama’s advice (start reading about half way down her post about it) and do the Beth Moore on-line Bible Study Believing God. 

If you’d like to join me, let me know in the comments section and we can walk together in this journey of getting to know our God better. 

I did the first session tonight and I can tell you that I have taken that little devil off my shoulder and stomped on him.  And I feel so much better for it.  Edited to add: Oh, but does he ever keep trying to climb back on.  I need to keep knocking him down with the Truth of the Word of God.

If you’ve been praying for my family, thank you.  Please don’t stop.

 

 

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5 Responses to “Stomping On the Devil on My Shoulder”

  1. Beverlydru said

    I am absorbing this post – lots to think about. I know we can make our husbands idols too. Many other things too- but for the “good Bible study girl”, husbands and children can sneak into God’s numero uno position too easily. I am going to check out Beth’s Bible Study and consider doing it with you. Thanks for the suggestion.

  2. I need to do that study, but i am afraid to commit right now. I’m not achieving short term goals I’ve set for myself, and I was just talking to the Lord about that little problem this morning. I am praying for you.

  3. No easy answers. And time seems interminable. You are in the midst of huge turmoil. AND you are also, truly–and I am not just giving the flippant, christianese answer–loved, known, held and empowered by the God of all Creation. Let the intimate, sovereign love of Jesus for you, and, yes, for every precious-crazy-making-member of your family, fill you, strenghten you, be your hiding place and your mighty foundation. God’s shaping hands are on you and on your family. Hold your family in love and prayer–but not as idols, and hold them more loosely–knowing that God holds their very breath and life in His good hands. God does love them even more passionately than you (which is a darn good thing!) And God sees them with a clearer, more eternal perspective than you (also a darn good thing!) Carol, I love you! You are my friend, my sister. Lift up your eyes, lick the frosting from your fingers–and watch the Master at work!

  4. Diane said

    I’m enjoying reading your blog. It doesn’t matter about keeping things light and fluffy all the time. Keeping things real is more important.
    You can hear an “Amen, Sistah!” on raising kids teaching us more about Christ. Nothing else would have worked as well.
    I’m thankful for the blessings they bring and the lessons I learn because of them. (and they have been HARD and MANY)

  5. […] me the the idea, He was also going to take care of the details for me.  You see, after reading this post, one of my dear friends sent me an email asking me to join her and a group of moms from church who […]

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