I Throw Like a Girl

All The Goodbyes

Posted by Carol on June 19, 2009

When we first found out we were moving to Denver, I was feeling a little guilty to be so excited about it. We’ve lived in New Jersey for 10 years now (the longest place we’ve lived in the 23 year history of our marriage) and I/we have so many great friends, neighbors, and memories.

Yet, thinking about moving  to Denver was exciting. My husband has 3 siblings and his mother that we will now be living near. We lived in the Denver area about 15 years ago and we still have friends that we are in touch with. And did I mention that Colorado is beautiful?

So back in March, April, and May if you asked me about the move I felt very brave and excited about it, yet still a tad guilty for not being sad enough about leaving NJ. How sad is sad enough, BTW?

(Have I ever told you that I am one-half Italian? Guilt is an ethnic trait of Italians.)

Well, I guess I worried about not being sad enough too soon because as soon as June hit, the countdown to the Big Move started, and the beginning of all the goodbyes began which, naturally, led to all the sadness.

The first  goodbye was to Joyce, my hairdresser. I think only one or two other people in New Jersey has ever cut my hair. She has seen my hair long, short, and in-between. She introduced me to the wonderful world of highlights to hide the gray. Our sons have grown up together, only they didn’t know it. Joyce and I have traded stories about our sons every 6-8 weeks for the better part of 10 years. My last cut was June 4th.

And so it goes all around my town. I picked up my last load from the dry cleaners this week, and the Chinese woman who owns the shop (her name is Gina and I’m pretty sure that’s not the name her parents gave her) said “See you next time!” but I realized there won’t be a “next time” and I had to say goodbye to her.

But even more difficult than saying goodbye to all the familiar faces of the shopkeepers and bank tellers who I now know by name, is saying goodbye to my dear, dear friends whom I have done life with these 10 years.

I have by no means been able to contact every single person who has impacted my life in a meaningful way during our time in New Jersey, but I have been able to spend some time with some very special people in the last few weeks and days.

This has been a very tender time and I have not really been able to process it all properly because in the middle of all the goodbyes were the septic system replacement, cleaning and showing our home for sale, house hunting in Colorado, making no less than 5 offers on homes with nothing working out (well, I think this one will work, but I won’t stop holding my breath until after the appraisal), endless phone calls arranging this that and the other, and now, finally, actually packing up and moving out of the home where my little boy and little girl became a young man and a young woman.

There is a lump in my throat that I know is only going to grow as this week goes on and we pull out of our driveway for the last time on Thursday night.

I know that once the packers and the movers have done their jobs, and this house is empty, I will be able to close my eyes and remember all the friends that have graced our doorway, all the Christmas trees that brightened our family room, all the Thanksgiving dinners shared with friends and family around the table, and all the random days that have made up our life here for the past ten years.

And I will thank God for every one of them.

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2 Responses to “All The Goodbyes”

  1. Mel said

    Moving is always bittersweet. On one side there is the excitement of a new house, new places, new friends, new adventures, new…but then on the flip there are the closing of doors, goodbyes to friends, and other sadness. At least through blogging I will be here for both sides. Can’t wait to hear all about Colorado!!

  2. You are going to love Colorado. My SIL lived in Denver (she was a Denver Nugget Cheerleader a million years ago) and I have 2 very close friends in Colorado Springs. Everyone I know from their is crazy about living there!

    Have a safe journey sweet girl!!!!

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