This past summer, I had a breast biopsy.
And I know when doctors want to do biopsies, they are usually looking for something, and that something usually means more surgeries, possible chemotherapy, radiation, pain, and, in worse case scenarios, death.
So, when my doctor wanted to do a biopsy (after 6 months prior telling me everything was fine) a chord of fear ran through me. For a few days, I was shaken and I could feel worry beginning to set into my heart.
I have a confession to make here. I’m a glass half full type person. I usually have a very positive, optimistic outlook on life. So this uneasiness and worry in my heart wasn’t setting well with me. I didn’t like it at all and I could tell that worry was not going to be my friend.
It’s at times like this that we have a decision to make. Are we going to give in to fear and worry, or are we going to trust God and obey His command to Fear Not? Matthew 10:28 “And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul”.
I firmly believe to not fear and worry is a choice. Sometimes a choice we have to make hour by hour or even minute to minute. But the choice is ours and it is a matter of the will.
So this summer when I found out I needed a breast biopsy, after a few days of feeling sorry for myself, I made a choice. I chose that by God’s grace, I would not worry. Yes, I would pray (a lot) and try to make wise decisions about my health care, but I would choose not to fear.
Worry is a waste of time. It doesn’t help and as a matter of fact, it can hurt. There are numerous studies that show the negative impact stress has on our health and life. So, it’s safe to say that God has our best interests in mind when He tells us not to worry.
Here’s how I tried to look at it.
By the time the doctor decided she wanted to do a biopsy, I either had breast cancer or I didn’t and worrying was not going to change that. But praying could, so whenever I felt fear creeping in to my heart, I used it as a reminder to pray about the situation. Here’s what I prayed, “Lord, if it is Your will, please let this be nothing. But, if You choose to allow me to have cancer, please give me the grace and faith to handle it in a way that brings glory to You”.
So, in the days between the doctor ordering the biopsy and the procedure itself, I figured that if I don’t have cancer, I will be kicking myself for worrying for nothing and ruining perfectly good days with worry. So I didn’t worry.
And if I did have cancer, I would be wasting my last few days of ignorant bliss by worrying. So I didn’t worry. There would be plenty of time after the biopsy to figure out treatment courses, schedule surgeries and chemo if need be.
Another thing I do when I feel fear creeping in about any situation I may be facing is to think about what the worse case scenario might be and make peace with it.
In this case, the worst possible outcome might be death. But here’s the kicker – for a Christian, that’s not such a bad outcome. When I die, I will be in Heaven. No more pain, no more tears, no taxes, stress or heartbreak. I will be with Jesus, and eventually my family will join me there for all eternity. Yes, I would hate to leave my husband and children early, and I would not want them to suffer the loss of a wife and mother. But as for me, I would be getting a pretty good deal.
I have found in my 48 years here on earth, that 95% of things I worry about never happen. And of the 5% that do happen, it’s not as bad as I anticipated. And that was the case with my breast biopsy. I did not have breast cancer, just “complicated breasts”. LOL
I don’t know why God chose to spare me from the challenge of breast cancer, but I am thankful He did and thankful that He used it as an opportunity to teach me how to battle worry.