I Throw Like a Girl

Posts Tagged ‘Germophobe’

Can’t I just wiggle my nose and be done with it?

Posted by Carol on January 31, 2008

Some of you may remember the television show Bewitched.  It ran from 1964-1972.  I watched it as a kid – the later years of its run, thank you very much.  

For you young ‘uns out there, here’s the gist… Samantha (played by Elizabeth Montgomery) was a  beautiful witch married to a mortal named Darren.  For some strange reason, Samantha promised Darren that she would live as a mortal and never use her magic.

Each episode would bring some problem that forced Samantha to choose between keeping her promise to Darren or using her magic to remedy the situation. Of course, she would use her magic and then all kinds of hilarity would ensue as she tried to cover her tracks. When she did find the need for magic, she would not use a magic wand. Instead she would wiggle her nose. If a certain task required an exceptional amount of magic, she might also wave her hand. Somehow, Darren would always find about her illicit use of magic, but forgive Samantha as everything worked out OK in the end.

One of the more common scenarios was that  Darren – or Derwood as Samantha’s mother, Endora, sarcastically called him – would phone Samantha telling her that he was bringing the boss home for dinner and they would be arriving in a half an hour.  What a choice Samantha had.  She could either serve macaroni and cheese out of the box – or whatever the equivalent back in the 60’s was, or wiggle her nose and have the house cleaned spotlessly and a meal fit for Thanksgiving set on the table with fine china and candles.  Hmmm…..which one would I pick???? 

Well, my husband pulled a Darren on me.  He asked me Wednesday morning if I would mind if he brought one of his co-workers, who is out here from Chicago on business, home with him Wednesday night to stay in our guest room.  

“It’s OK if you feel like it’s too short notice,” Dear Husband assured me. “Mr. Co-Worker can always go back to his hotel after dinner.”  

Because of the logistics of his travel arrangements, he was staying in one city and driving three hours to meet my husband and his other colleagues for dinner.  So, if I said “no” Mr. Co-Worker would not get back to his hotel until very, very late.  No pressure or guilt at all about this decision.

Normally, I am very hospitable.  I love having guests and I love to entertain.  However, there are several factors that caused me have to think about my answer.

1.  I am now working almost a full time job (I just started Jan. 2).  The days I do work, I don’t get home until 7 PM which leaves me less time for house cleaning than I am used to. And Wednesday is one of the days I work until 7.

2.  I have never met this man before.  If he were a friend I would feel less pressure to present a “perfect” picture of our home since he would already know me and like me  – warts and all.  This speaks more to my insecurities than to the cleanliness of our home- therapy anyone?

3.  Mr. Co-Worker is a genuine, honest to goodness germophobe.  I’m serious.  It is well known among his peers that he packs Lysol and Clorox wipes when he travels and he sprays and wipes down everything in his hotel room.  I fear that staying at my house with kids and two dogs may be enough to send him over the edge with a nervous breakdown and I don’t want to be responsible for that.  Or, what if he started spraying and wiping down MY house. Hmmm…. maybe I should invite him to stay longer if he really enjoys cleaning that much.

Then there’s the side of me that says, “What would a true Proverbs 31 woman do?”  She would do her husband (and his co-worker) good.  She would rise up before dawn to clean her home and care for her family.  She would not leave a poor traveling germophobe to drive 3 hours in the darkness to his cold, lonely, Lysol sprayed hotel room.  No!  She would tell her husband “It’s fine. Bring him on over”.   

So that’s what I did. To Dear Husband’s credit, he had helped me clean the house over the weekend.  All I have to do is touch up the bathroom, vacuum, put clean sheets on the guest room bed and make sure no germs enter our house for the next 24 hours. Sounds easy enough. I may also try wiggling my nose.  It couldn’t hurt.


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