I Throw Like a Girl

Posts Tagged ‘husbands’

What do you get a man who has everything?

Posted by Carol on February 16, 2009

My husband is a wonderful man. He works hard and he plays hard. He is a loving son, a good friend, devoted father and husband. He is admired by those he works with and liked by everyone who knows him.

Of course, he’s not perfect. He has his flaws, as do we all, but he has one flaw that stands out a little more than the others.  I have known about this flaw since we were dating and I married him anyway.

What is this glaring flaw, you may ask?

He loses things.

In the 22 years we have been married, he has lost 3 wedding rings. Well, in his defense, one was stolen out of a locker at a gym (but still!).

Early in our marriage, he lost his car keys so often, that our neighbors in the apartment across the hall got him one of those car key locator key chains.  All he had to do was clap his hands and his key chain would beep, telling his the location of his long lost keys.

He has lost his cell phone, numerous watches, his Blackberry, his wallet, his laptop (twice!).  Most recently, he left his laptop in the Phoenix airport after going through security. We live far, far away from Phoenix.

However, I believe our problems have been solved by my husband’s very creative administrative assistant.

Hallelujah!

Last Thursday was Dear Hubby’s birthday, and this is what P, his assistant gave him:

phils-birthday-2009-002If you look closely, you can see there is a velcro strap for everything he could possibly lose need.

phils-birthday-2009-0061View from the back: Now he will never misplace his laptop again!

It’s pure genius I say. I think we should get a marketing department on this right away and give the Snuggie a run for its money.

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Posted in Dear Husband | Tagged: , | 5 Comments »

If You Give a Man a New TV

Posted by Carol on January 1, 2008

If you give a mouse a cookie a man a new TV, he’s going to ask for a new DVD player to go with it.

When you give him the the new DVD player, the guys from Best Buy are going to tell you that you also need a new HD receiver.

When you give him the new HD receiver, he’s going to ask for a new Universal Remote to go with it.

When you give him the new Universal Remote, the nice young men from the blue & yellow store are going to offer to install the new equipment for you.

When they offer to install the new equipment for you, they are going to tell you that you also need three brand new HDMI cables.

When the nice young men from Best Buy tell the man the installation will only cost $600 and the new cables will cost $500, the man will tell the guys from Best Buy, that he will do the installation himself.

When the man decides to do the installation himself, he will also want to rearrange the family room furniture in order to avoid purchasing so much of those pesky new cables.

When the man decides to rearrange the family room furniture, he’s also going to want to rearrange the basement to make room for the old TV.

When he rearranges the basement to make room for the old TV, he is also going to want to clean up the storage area of the basement.

While he’s cleaning up the storage area of the basement, the man is going to ask his wife to call DirecTV to get the new system activated.

When she calls DirecTV to get the new system activated, they’re going to tell her that they need a new satellite dish because their current one was made in the dark ages.

When she makes the appointment for the new satellite dish to be installed, the guy on the phone is going to tell her that they need a new satellite receiver  – something about new technology…blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada…..

When she tells her husband that they need a new satellite receiver, he’s going to sigh, sit down, and ask for a glass of milk.

And when she gives him a glass of milk, he’s going to want a cookie to go with it….and the remote control.

(No husbands or Best Buy employees were harmed in the writing of this post. Any similarities to actual people or events are entirely on purpose. Credit goes to my children for sparking the idea for this post.) 🙂

Posted in Dear Husband, funny stuff, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , | 3 Comments »